The last place I'd thought I'd ever be....

You know when you're a teenager and you make up all these great plans for yourself because you really have no idea how the world works yet? I used to think I was going to move to northern California and be an English teacher and a freelance writer and burn a lot of incense in between. I thought I'd end up going to college in some other state because I hated Florida and couldn't wait to get out of Miami (which I used to believe was the most wretched city ever).

For some reason, none of that happened. And where I have ended up, there has been no other place where I would have rather been these past several years. (well, most of the time....i still struggle with envying the "real" big cities who have amazing public transportation systems).

Tampa didn't always make sense to me. Now I know for sure that this was a big part of God's pursuit for me because that's how bad He wanted me. I left this afternoon after shedding some tears surrounded by a few handful of friends who showed me more love than I have ever deserved. It was so hard to leave them. I think of the community of people I have been surrounded with in Tampa and I'm like man, this is exactly what I have always been searching for. God knows the desires of my hearts and He blesses that.

I guess the point of all this is I am wondering how the heck why and how I have ended up in a very small town called Immokalee right now.

The only possible explanation is because of what has happened to me as a person in Tampa the past several years. If it wasn't for this pursuing God had done after me, I highly doubt I would have ever cared about the plight of farm workers in Immokalee.

God is amazing.

This is the last place I thought I would ever be and even though I have so many fears and I feel waaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone right now, I praise God that He introduced me to this community. I am grateful for how He has caused me to care for my people from Latin America and that somehow He is going to teach me through the years to live for someone besides myself.

Immokalee is not an easy place to be. Especially for a big city girl like me. I think I have started to believe that usually the place we may be the most scared of going to would be the best place for us to end up in, at least for a while. Small, rural areas have always scared me. I like noise, I like tall buildings, buses and trains, highways.....yeah, the nearest highway is about 40 minutes from me right now!

I just have so many thoughts going through my head right now. I'm also really sleepy because I think between the past 3 nights I have slept a total of 15 hours. THATS NOT GOOD! But it has been worth it because I got to spend a lot of time with people I love a lot before I left.

If you're someone who prays, I ask that you would please pray for me to be open to whatever God would want to teach me this summer in Immokalee. Pray that I'm open to change, that I adjust well, that I'll be real about my fears and that I'd be willing to work through them and give them to God. I'm not even sure what I am scared of....I think that all of us are always scared of the unfamiliar, whether we want to admit that or not.

To be honest with you...I am scared of leaving comfort. I am so freakin attached to the comforts of this world and I HATE THAT! But there is something comfortable about things like Target, like Panera Bread, like being around people that all look and think like me, that talk like me.

OK, I'll write more tomorrow. I'm too sleepy now and I'm just going to keep rambling, haha.

I miss YOU! :)