To everything there is a season?

So on Sunday evening I left Immokalee and moved back to Tampa! Aaahhhhhhhhhh....what a carnival of emotions.

Late Sunday night I spent a significant amount of time writing an entry here and when I was almost done, sleep hit me like no one's business and the next thing I knew I was in dreamland. In the end, I lost the entry I wrote. :( I'll try and recap as much as I can.

Right now I'm in DC, actually. I flew out here on Monday night because I am visiting a very good friend of mine, Dana "Banana Cafe" Villauz; she is moving to Spain for a year on Friday! I figured it would be nice to not have to wait until next summer to see her again. I am also visiting some other dear BFF's up here and then my mom and my sister are going to meet in the magical pupusa forest in a couple of days so we can vacation together (s0mething that has not happened in a very long time for the 3 of us, so I am really looking forward to this because my family had some rough times this year and I think sometimes we just need to be OK with resting and enjoying each other and showing one another a lot of love).

Wow. So Immokalee is over. I am always so freaked out at how quickly realities can change for people with privilege (like me). I mean, my reality is always one of privilege but do you know what I mean? I can choose to come and go as I please wherever I want, basically (within reason). Honestly, it feels good to just chill. Even before Immokalee, it kind of felt like I had not rested in like a year or something because this past school year was so stressful and there were always things going on during breaks even. Now I am just resting and it feels nice. I've been hanging out with my friends here, looking for jobs online (I actually had a phone interview today! but ehh not feeling it...), praying, talking with the Lord a lot, reflecting...

and just wondering what the heck is going to be next in my life!!!

As hard as Immokalee was for me in many ways, I am grateful to God that I was able to be there this summer. There is no way I would have learned some of the things I did in Tampa.

I think Immokalee should be considered one of Florida's best kept secrets, if not one of the United State's best kept secrets. This place is no longer a secret to many people but I think as many people should know that there is an incredible revolution going on there. The more I have reflected on what the CIW is doing, I realize how huge it is. They are changing an entire industry, they are working to improve a corrupt system that has been in place for way too long. I think it was the recent Whole Foods agreement that took place that made me see this. Pretty much all of our produce that we find in our grocery stores all over the US are products of exploitation and sweatshop-like conditions and sometimes even straight up modern-day slave labor. (Unless one is fortunate enough to find produce that is Fair Trade Certified by TransFair but that's usually a rarity here in the US). Yet now, in the very near future, peeps will be able to walk into a Whole Foods and know that the majority of those tomatoes were purchased at a more fair wage (the current piece rate for a 32-lb. bucket of tomatoes is 45 cents, with the CIW's penny-more-per-pound campaign, that rate has been raised to about 77 cents. With that, on average, a farmworker can now earn around $16,000 a year as opposed to somewhere between $7,500-$10,000. This is always a bit tricky because it always depends on how much work a tomato picker can find, etc). Also, Whole Foods has now agreed to the CIW's code of conduct, which holds them accountable to ensuring there is no other kinds of exploitative conditions going on in the field. The system is nowhere near perfect and there is still a lot of work to be done but indeed a revolution has begun in a place called Immokalee. I feel privileged that I was part of it and that I am still part of it and like I told my compas when I left, I am always their ally. Su lucha es mi lucha, their struggle is my struggle.

I truly believe that God is on the side of the tomato pickers in Florida. I believe He is on the side of the men and women crossing deserts and borders (that should never have existed in the first place) for the sake of love and survival. There are a lot of people I worked with this summer who would not call themselves Christians or who would not claim Jesus as their Savior (mostly the allies). Yet I met many of the workers who would definitely say God is the only reason any of this has been possible. I have to agree with this. The CIW began a courageous revolution many years ago and I really believe it was because they knew God was with them. Many of them were undocumented workers who did not speak English and yet in 2001 they dared to take on the largest fast food company in the world, Yum! Brands, the parent company of Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Long John Silver's, A &W (and one other restaurant that I always forget it's name) and they dared to declare a boycott on Taco Bell until they made things right. What made them think it was possible? Strength and courage from God. I want to continue to strive to have this kind of faith in God, that with Him all things will be made right someday because this His will! His will is for justice and righteousness so I pray that He would continue to bless the work of the CIW and that His name would be glorified through this beautiful community. It is in no way flawless but they are doing something big.

My calling is to be with my people. In many ways I went home this summer. I'm not a Chicana or a Mexicana or a Guatemalteca but I still found my roots in Immokalee as a bi-racial women- part Spaniard, part Incan via Ecuador, part Irish, part Scotch, part Welsh somewhere down the line, too. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but something inside of my soul felt very alive as my Spanish improved more and more each day. As I was able to carry on more and more conversations, it was as though God was giving back something to me that had been wrongfully stolen from me as a child. I once prayed about 3 years ago that God would give me the Spanish language; He has been faithful in answering that prayer for me.

I remember Brian once speaking this past spring about how when we will know what our calling is or just where we are supposed to be. (BTW, totally paraphrasing this, as if that were not already obvious). He said that it's when you think of that thing or that place, you start to feel kind of nervous but excited deep down inside. I think about Latin America, I think about Immokalee, I think about the neighborhood I grew up in, I think about LaFe and I feel that way. Tonight I was talking with another good of friend of mine up here, Anne, and I was sharing with her about the ministry of LaFe at USF and how it was started and how it has affected the IV chapter and the campus in an incredible way. It was crazy because I actually got goosebumps on my body thinking about LaFe and the amazing ways I have seen my brothers and sisters be impacted by this ministry.

I just want to be with my people. I think that is where I am supposed to be. I think for now I need to be with my people in Tampa. The longer I have been away from Tampa, the more I love that place.

Sorry if this is boring for any of you. Right now I am writing this mostly for myself to try and process what I am feeling. Writing has been so therapeutic for me always and it really helps me to make sense of things, especially because I am naturally scatterbrained. :) In a sense, though, I also write these things publicly as a form of accountability. I know that those of you who have been my faithful readers truly care about me and what happens in my life (and it goes the other way, too!).

One thing I have been freaking out about a bit has been a job because I feel like the job I get should be somewhat related to working with the farmworker community or it at least should be somehow connected to community organizing or something. Then I remember that many of those who have often organized within the community didn't do it as a day-job; they did it in their free time because they cared, they saw a need, so they acted. That is definitely something that I need to hold myself to, even if I end up in something totally unrelated to what I want to be doing for now (because eventually I'll have to take something to pay the bills, right?). I need to be out there with my people either way.

So...here I go...

Changing the system, not just charity work. Lord, don't let me forget that.

Another thing. So the title of this blog has been "Re-learning this Latino American Dream". All I have to say about this supposed American Dream that exists right now is...a really bad word, honestly, but I am not going to use it here. But guess what, I am a human and right now that's my attitude towards the whole concept of the American Dream. From what I have seen my whole life after growing up in Miami and then being in Immokalee, there is nothing too great about this dream. In reality, it is a nightmare. It's a nightmare that tells us it is OK to leave others behind as long as we are ourselves getting ahead. I think it has caused many of us to forget where we come from and to forget the sacrifices of those who come before us. I think too much of it turns into materialism and greed. I think it's a lie for many of the people immigrating to the US. I don't want anything to do with it.

Not unless we're willing to learn to create a new kind of dream. A dream of dignity, justice, righteousness, a dream where it includes all of us, not just the privileged few. A dream that honors the will of God and His love.

I still don't have a ton figured out. I have left Immokalee with a lot of questions but I am glad that I have a bit more direction in my life at this point.

OK...so this is going to be the last part of this blog now, for real!

This part is for all of YOU. You all have been so faithful to me this summer. Thank you. I don't deserve the kind of love and kindness many of you have shown to me but for some incredible reason, many of you have chosen to demonstrate it through your friendships with me. It has meant so much to me when you all left comments or sent me messages or emails letting me know you had read my blogs. Thank you for being my community, for being part of this experience with me from a distance. Thank you for the prayers (I could really feel them some days).

Thank you for affirming me as a writer. This has been such a huge restoration in my identity and I really want to continue to use this tool for God's glory.

Thank you for sharing your own stories and struggles with me as they related to what I was learning throughout the summer. There were a couple of you that I know God purposefully placed in my life during this season because He wanted me to learn something from you. I also found parts of myself in you.

I left Immokalee just as the season of autumn began. The former English major in me still loves to draw symbolism to everything in my life (lame, yes, I know, but oh well. this is who I am). But here begins a new season in my life. All I can say is that I am grateful I have a Savior to once again walk with me through this one. All I can do is take what He has taught me from my experiences and my mistakes and put those teachings to the best use I possibly can.

For all the sirenas, the jaranas, the Son Jarocho, the avocados, the paletas, the marimba music, the watermelons, the friends, the struggle...

it will be continued....!